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I'd rather hope...

1/30/2020

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I'd rather hope a thousand times...
and be disappointed,
than to miss out
on an opportunity to have trusted God.

I'd rather hope a thousand times...
and be disappointed,
than to
not be paying attention when true hope comes along. 

I would rather interpret everything as hopeful...
and be disappointed,
than to interpret everything realistically,
and miss the miracles.

I'd rather interpret everything as hopeful...
and be disappointed,
than to miss a chance
to see God
do a miracle.

I'd rather interpret everything as hopeful and be disappointed...
than to disappoint
God

by not being hopeful.

​Hollis Smith

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The Impact of God

6/6/2019

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Fr. Iain Matthews’ book, The Impact of God – Soundings from St. John of the Cross, manages to bring this mysterious saint right home to us. One of the most intimidating saints to try to understand, John is most well known for his poetic work “The Dark Night of the Soul”. The title of this one work of his deterred me from reading anything at all by him for many years. I didn’t even want to think about dark nights of the soul. 


Then my priest gave me The Impact of God to read after a time of reconciliation a year or so ago. I was immediately enthralled by what I read, reading and rereading portions of it, and finally giving into marking in it, promising myself I’d buy my priest another copy. That was about when I noticed that his name was embossed in a seal on the title page... oops. 


Far from being a super-hero saint with a grip on God that I could only dream of having, Fr. Matthews reveals St. John as a frail human through whom God’s grace was made evident by the love He was able to ignite in John’s heart, even through great trials and testings. John fell so in love with God, that he was loath to even try to put it into words. His original writings were poems that might seem to come across vague and insubstantial to those not inclined to wrest the meaning out of allegory and description. He was asked to write further, which he didn’t want to do, to elucidate the meaning of his poems. Even then, I, at least, needed Ian Matthews to really put it into plain words for me. 


Fr. Matthews tells John’s story in a way that sheds great light on the writings that came from him. I believe he really grasped what John wanted desperately to convey through his poems, shows us a beautiful picture of a man who really loved God and who very much wanted others to know this Beloved One as well. And in keeping with the beautiful and vital truth of God’s individual love for each of us, Fr. Matthews makes sure to emphasize that St. John was not seeking to show people the way to get closer to God, but to assure us that the way is there. But he wants us to realize that each of us must find our own way to His heart according to how He draws us to Him, and to therefore seek Him with an open heart, and diligently. 


I highly recommend this book to those who would like to see, perhaps for the first time, how human are the things that go on in even a saint’s head, and to be assured that it isn’t about our circumstances, but about the passion of the God who loves us to draw us closer to Himself. 


Here's the Amazon link if you'd like to read it!
Impact of God
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​DEFEATING SIN IN OUR LIVES IS A PROCESS...

5/10/2019

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Perhaps defeating the sin in our lives is like dealing with certain weeds in our gardens and yards. We have loads and loads of wild raspberries in our yard, complete with thorns. I have been pulling what could be pulled up by the roots (not many) and clipping at ground level what won’t pull, for years, now. They grow profusely among the other wild plants that I would like to keep for their beauty... 

When I first began this endeavor, I often had to deal with a discouraging, even mocking, inner voice that kept telling me I was wasting my time, they would just grow back. But I enjoyed watching them be gone, even for a little while, so I continued. It was satisfying and therapeutic to see the area after I clipped, free of the offensive brambles. 

As I continued doing this, I began to think about what was going on with the plants, and applying my limited knowledge of plant biology. I understood that plants get their energy from the sun, which they use to make sugar for themselves, and they store some of this sugar in their roots and branches to use for later. And I came to the conclusion that they can’t continue to grow back if I continue to clip them down when they pop up, because they are using their stored energy to try and grow again, and they only have so much stored energy. Eventually they won’t be able to ‘try again’. And apparently, I came to the right conclusion, because now, after four seasons, very few and tiny raspberry plants come up in the areas where I consistently clip.

So, how much of the energy of the sin that hinders us is stored in its roots?  Perhaps what seems like a hopeless task, defeating the sin in our lives, is actually just a matter of persistently cutting it off when it appears, over and over until it loses strength? And how much of the effective ‘cutting’ is in the form of the sacrament of reconciliation?

This year I began a campaign against another unwanted weed in my yard – bracken ferns. The send up very stiff, tall (up to 3 feet) ‘arms’ with little fists on the end that uncurl into very large leaves that shade everything beneath them. They are easy to clip, being tall and obvious, and I thought they would be piece of cake to get rid of. But within a few days of clipping every one of them in a certain area, twice as many would shoot up. Maybe more than twice as many, but I don’t want to exaggerate! 

So I went at it again. I am expecting that more will pop up, but I know they are growing up from roots that only have so much stored energy in them, so I am expecting that they will pop up smaller and smaller until they can’t pop up any more. And that next year they will come back with less vigor, and the next even less, until they come back no more!

The biggest thing I came away with from this for my own spiritual life was that I need to be patient with myself, and as persistent as I can clipping off my own sinful attitudes and practices. It helps to recognize that the sin that keeps coming up is rooted in something, and that while the Lord has already weakened it for us (indeed, he has essentially killed it already), I needn’t be surprised that it keeps popping up, drawing on some energy source that will be exhausted at some point, if I am as consistent as I can be clipping away at it. But I can’t give up. Because if that sin is allowed to grow up long enough to start making its own food again, I am going to have to start at square one all over again. My current efforts are NOT wasted, no matter how many sprouts seem to pop up triumphantly waving in my face. I cut them off, and keep going, trusting in the Lord’s plan for my ultimate triumph.

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    Author

    Hi! I am married to Don and have been with him on this crazy adventure of following Jesus for almost 40 years! Yikes! That's a long time! I am always learning every day and every way that it is Ok to trust Jesus.with every detail of my life and the lives of those I love.

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